


everything i want

by clickymonster



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Idiots in Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:00:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25943248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clickymonster/pseuds/clickymonster
Summary: 5 times Jens says I love you without saying I love you and 1 time Lucas does
Relationships: Jens Stoffels/Lucas van der Heijden
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	everything i want

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey! I hope you guys enjoy my contribution to the last day of VDS week! Thank yall for the feedback on my last post ❤

1.

Antwerp was pretty in the fall. Everywhere Lucas walked, he saw flashes of colour. Red, orange, and yellow leaves littered his path as he walked through campus. Earthy chestnut tones surrounded him in cafes and in libraries. The sky above him fresh and blue, decorated with grey clouds. Colour followed him. 

Antwerp was really pretty in the fall. 

Lucas weaved his way through the crowds of people finishing their morning classes on his way to the library to study before his next class. Even after over a year at university, the crowds never failed to surprise him. There were people everywhere, literally everywhere, and its not that Lucas wasn’t a social person, its just that constant crowds all day made him fucking exhausted. He adjusted his backpack on his shoulders and lifted his chin, seeing the library building ahead of the swarm and breathed out a sigh of relief. Finally, a break. 

He sped up a bit, running up the steps and through the front doors. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, but ignored it and fumbled to find his student card so he could scan it on the front desk monitor. The machine beeped and a green light flashed to let him know that he was clear to go. He went straight for the back of the building because he was always able to get a table to himself and it was always quiet, a much needed environment. He found a table in the back corner, nestled between some bookshelves and he huffed as he shrugged his backpack onto the floor. Lucas flopped into the chair and unzipped his bag, stacking his laptop and textbooks on the table before reaching into his pocket and grabbing his phone. 

He saw the screen and smiled.

Lucas and Jens had been together for slightly over two years. They met when Lucas moved to Antwerp to live with his dad and he luckily befriended the Brroers. They dated through their last year of high school and all through their first year at university. Starting their second year, however, they rented a small apartment together off campus. Dating Jens has been the highlight of the last few years for Lucas. During their first year at uni, Jens memorized all of Lucas’s classes and sent him texts after each one to check in because Jens knew how easily school could stress out his boyfriend. 

Which is why, everyday after class, Lucas picks up his phone and sees a text from his wonderful boyfriend. 

Jens: hey baby hope your anthro class wasn’t too boring

Lucas: wasn’t too bad today

Jens: oh really? I was expecting some big rant about how your prof still doesn’t know how to teach or for you to tell me that you fell asleep again

Lucas: i only fell asleep in class once

Jens: and i remember you saying you would gladly do it again without any thought

Lucas: shut up 

Jens: relax i’m just teasing you. Are you still good for dinner tonight? Work didn’t call you in?

Lucas: nope :) i’m all yours 

Jens: perfect ;)

Lucas: oh boy the winky face, what exactly do you have planned and aren’t you in class rn?

Jens: i am in class but we’re on break and the winky face is to slyly tell you that your amazing boyfriend is going to sweep you off your feet by cooking you dinner and making sweet sweet love to you because we both don’t have early classes

Lucas: sounds fucking amazing and pay attention in class idiot

Jens: you’re right. Thinking about you naked isn’t really helping me 

Lucas: love you

Jens: love you too baby, text me when you get home after your next lecture and don’t work yourself too hard on that paper you have due

Lucas bit his lip and smiled. He shook his head and felt blush rise to his cheeks when he thought about the day ahead of him. He opened his laptop and his anthropology textbook and began to work, Jens crossing his mind made it difficult. 

Lucas was a lucky guy. 

2.

Thursdays were Lucas’s least favourite day of the week. He always worked the opening shift of the cafe meaning he had to get up at ungodly hours of the morning to go to work. He had a class after his shift and always felt like shit during it because he was exhausted and to top it off, he couldn’t wake up with his boyfriend like they usually did in the mornings. 

Jens worked at a restaurant close to campus and worked the closing shift on Wednesday nights, meaning Lucas went to bed alone and woke up having to leave his absolutely adorable sleeping boyfriend. It was only one day during the week that their schedules were like this but it still sucked. After a long day, either at school or work, it was awesome to come home to your boyfriend, and it was even better to wake up next to that said boyfriend and squeeze in some great morning sex before the day started. 

Lucas had always tried to stay up to be awake when Jens came home, but he usually ended up falling asleep around 1 am on the couch and woke up in his bed at 6 am, trying to get ready quietly so as to not disturb Jens.

So yeah, Thursdays pretty much sucked. 

At least, that was Lucas’s mindset going into most Thursdays, this one in particular. His alarm vibrated on his bedside table at promptly 6 am and he rolled over and turned it off. He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a sigh. He really really didn’t want to go to work today. He felt like he was hit by a truck, he was exhausted because of all the projects he had going on and he didn’t want to leave the warmth of Jens’s arms. 

Lucas slowly untangled himself from Jens and turned to look at him. He smiled and brushed a piece of hair off his forehead and gently kissed his cheek before slipping out of bed and padding to the washroom. He turned on one of the lights and the fan before starting the shower in hopes that it would wake him up. He quickly showered, brushed his teeth and washed his face before turning off the bathroom light and quietly walking back into their room to grab his work clothes. He shrugged on his shirt and a pair of jeans and gave one last smile towards Jens before leaving their bedroom and closing the door. 

Lucas headed to the kitchen. Because he was at work until the afternoon, he normally packed a lunch but he felt so fucking tired that he considered eating breakfast and lunch at the cafe just so he didn’t have to put effort into making a sandwich. Lucas sighed and opened the fridge, expecting nothing, which was mostly true; the only contents in their fridge being some fruit and condiments, but he saw a brown takeout container. He shrugged and reached to grab it, putting it on the counter. 

The container had a note:

Luc, brought you that pasta you like for lunch today <3

Lucas felt a smile worming its way onto his face. He bit his lip and looked back towards his and Jens’s bedroom and flushed pink. It wasn’t the first time that Jens had brought him food for lunch after his late night shift, and it wouldn’t be the last, but Lucas prayed that the butterflies would always remain. It was a small thing, but it made getting up early worth it and left him in a good mood going into his shift. 

Lucas may hate Thursdays, but he fucking loved his boyfriend. 

3.

Lucas always gets into the zone when he's editing photos. He loves it. He puts on his music and loses himself in his work. 

Lucas will spend hours on the weekend taking pictures and uploading them to his laptop so he can edit. He took a chance taking a photography course in his first year of university and he fell in love with the craft. He was taking a general arts and humanities degree but his photography courses were his passion. He never missed a class, he was always dragging Jens around to take pictures and begging his boyfriend to pose for shots. In fact, last year on Lucas's birthday, Jens got him a polaroid camera and Lucas almost cried. He started a photo wall in their apartment full of polaroids with graffiti around Antwerp, their friends, the day he and Jens moved into their apartment and countless others. 

Jens knows not to bother Lucas when he’s in photo editing mode. The last few times it had happened Lucas got so annoyed and it led to a few minor arguments; so when Jens sees his boyfriend at the table on his computer, he quietly sneaks around the apartment for the time being so as to not disturb him, god forbid. Jens thinks it's rather endearing watching Lucas get so captivated by his work. He scrunches his eyebrows together and his tongue pokes out of his mouth when he gets really focused. Jens always thinks that Lucas is ten times more adorable, if that’s even possible.

The one thing Jens has noticed in the time that he and Lucas have been dating is how different their music tastes are. Jens prefers to listen to rap, hip hop and remixes; music that gets his blood pumping and hypes him up for whatever activities he has planned. Lucas, however, likes to listen to more indie pop, softer beats that he can get absorbed in. It never bothered Jens, the differing music tastes, the pair have even introduced each other to some artists that they both enjoy. It was just something Jens noticed about his boyfriend when he was editing; Lucas always had soft indie music playing. 

Jens would never admit it to Lucas but he actually does rather enjoy the softer music his boyfriend likes. If he said anything, he would never hear the end of it, which is why on days like today, when Jens has the apartment to himself while Lucas is at work, he blasts Tangerine by Hot Chelle Rae. 

He’s doing some cleaning, blasting the song through the speakers littered through the apartment. He finished vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom and has a load of laundry in the machine in their closet. Jens leaned against the kitchen counter while he waited for the sink to fill up with warm water and dish soap. He hated doing the dishes, but both him and Lucas had been busy the last week and the dishes had started to pile up. 

He grabs the sponge resting on the sink and begins to scrub the plates. He hums to the music and places a plate on the dish rack to dry. 

Tangerine come fuck me up like you always do

Come steal the rest of my records and my lovin too

Tangerine it's a dream when you’re next to me

You run through all of my money and my sanity

One by one, the dishes start to leave the sink and onto the dish rack as Jens scrubs away. He even belts out some of the lyrics, nodding his head along to the tune, moving his hips in little circles as the music fills the apartment. He puts a glass on the rack and wiggles his fingers to the beat, mimicking the drums. 

You’re so sweet, so sweet, so sweet

You’re all the colour I need

Jens is so occupied dancing around the kitchen as he drains the sink that he doesn’t notice Lucas quietly coming through the door. Lucas stops, his hand on the door handle, a smile making its way onto his lips as he watches his boyfriend sing and dance. Lucas closes the door quietly and chuckles, putting his bag down beside their shoes. 

When you go I want you back

Yeah only one I want this bad

Jens also didn't notice his boyfriend walk up behind him and gaze fondly. Lucas worked his arms around Jens's middle, stopping his dancing. Jens froze, the embarrassment crawled up the back of his throat, he felt Lucas sigh against his shoulder. He turned towards his boyfriend and gave him a sheepish smile, a rosy hue appearing on his cheeks.

"How much of that did you see?" Jens asks quietly.

"Enough." Lucas leaned forward and placed a feather light kiss on his boyfriend's lips. Lucas closed his eyes and let out a breath. He curled a hand around the back of Jens's neck, pulling at the short hair at the nape. Lucas pressed their lips together again, with more intensity. He pulled away and rested their foreheads together. “When did you start listening to my music?”

Jens breathed out a laugh. “I only listen to it sometimes.”

Lucas grinned and shook his head. “Sure.” He placed his hands on Jens’s chest and dragged them up until his arms were wrapped around his shoulders. “Dance with me.” Jens smiled and grabbed Lucas by the waist and twirled them away from the sink. Jens grabbed one of Lucas’s hads and intertwined their fingers, dancing them into the living room as Lucas laughed and threw his head back. Jens pressed a kiss to the base of his neck. 

Tangerine, you don’t call, you show up out the blue

I could try all I want but can’t get mad at you

Lucas drew Jens in for another chaste kiss. He squeezed their hands and closed his eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You’re so sweet, so sweet, so sweet

You’re all the colour I need

4.

“Jens, we have to go soon!” Lucas yelled from the kitchen. He checked his tie in the reflection of the microwave and leaned against the countertop. 

“I'll be out in a minute!”

Lucas sighed. He always gets nervous going to his photography expos, every single time, without fail. It was just something about the atmosphere, the fanciness, how distinguished the affair was treated. He had to dress up in stiff clothes, he had to talk to people about his photos and listen to their criticism or praise and talk to professors or owners of galleries and it was just a lot. He was working himself up again; he closed his eyes to take a breath. 

Lucas didn’t hear the swish of Jens putting on his jacket, he didn’t hear the sound of dress shoes making their way to him on the wooden floor. He certainly didn’t notice the way his boyfriend paused at the door, looking him over and feeling warmth bubble deep within his chest. Jens smiled softly. 

“Luc?” Jens asked. Lucas opened his eyes and saw his boyfriend staring at him fondly. He suddenly felt self conscious. 

“Yeah, I’m ready.” Lucas walked towards the door, grabbing his jacket off of the hook. Jens grabbed his hand and stopped him, pulling Lucas towards his chest. 

Jens kisses him, cupping a hand around Lucas’s jaw and angling their lips together. He gently opens his lips and sweeps his tongue inside Lucas’s mouth. Lucas feels his knees go weak as he clings to Jens’s jacket as he kisses him, and kisses him and kisses him. 

Jens pulls away with one last gentle brush of their lips, thumb stroking Lucas’s cheek. Lucas opens his eyes and gazes at Jens.

“What was that for?” Lucas whispered. 

“It doesn’t matter how many times I see you dressed up for these things, but seeing you in a shirt and tie and those fucking absurdly tight pants makes me feel like I’m seeing it for the first time again.” Jens explains softly, a smirk worming its way onto his face. “And I know that you get nervous.” He pulls Lucas into his chest. “And you have nothing to be nervous about because I’m gonna be right there with you.”

Lucas nods and breathes out a sigh, trying to relax his shoulders a bit. Jens leans back and reaches to grab the keys behind Lucas from the bowl on their counter. “Let’s go, yeah?”

Lucas nods again and laces his fingers with Jens’s. “I like seeing you dressed up too, you know.”

Jens looks back at him. 

“I know.”

5\. 

Lucas felt like the world around him was collapsing. His vision was foggy, the air felt thinner and all he could hear was the sound of his own heavy breathing. The bed beneath him felt solid, he rested his elbows on his knees and buried his head in his hands. Lucas tugged at his curls trying to get the feeling to stop but he couldn't think or speak or breath. 

The hospital called him as soon as he stepped into the apartment. Jens was at class and Lucas had just gotten back from his shift at the cafe. He dropped his bag on the floor and answered his phone, feeling nauseous. His mom had been admitted again. Lucas tried to listen but the woman’s voice kept coming to him in patches. She had cut her arms…. Broken glass…. Her neighbors called in it…. Keeping her until further notice for her safety. Lucas felt his hands wobble as he nodded along. 

And then the call ended. And Lucas ran to the bedroom and fell onto the bed. And then his world started crumbling. 

He had gotten calls like this before, some were worse than others but they all made him feel the same way. Heart heavy, chest tight and shaky. She had broken dishes from the old china cabinet in the dining room when Lucas’s dad had come. She cut her arms. She was crying and screaming so the neighbors called the emergency line. An ambulance took her away. 

Lucas felt the tears that had begun prickling in the corner of his eyes fall down his face. He wrapped his arms around himself. A strangled noise escaped his throat as the tears continued their tracks. He should’ve picked up signs of an episode the last time he went to visit her, there were always warning signs. He should have been there with her, he should have taken her to the hospital, he should have stayed for longer than the weekend, he should have. 

Lucas dug his fingers into his arms. He let out a loud sob and slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle the noise. His shoulders were shaking and his vision swum with tears and he couldn’t breath he just-

“Luc?”

There was a shuffling noise and a loud thud before he felt the bed dip beside him. Hands covered his and strong arms pulled him closer. Lucas felt a hand cradle his head and another rubbed his back. He sobbed, gripping the fabric of a shirt, and he sobbed. 

“Luc,” a voice said softly. He pulled away and looked up to see Jens looking at him with love and sympathy and worry and another sound made it past his lips. Jens cupped his face and rubbed away tears with his thumbs. Jens moved his lips but Lucas couldn’t hear anything over his cries. He felt himself get pulled back into his boyfriend’s chest. He gathered Lucas into his lap and started to rock him gently. He whispered words into his ear. I’m here baby, it’s going to be okay. Let it all out, Luc. I’m here for you. I love you. I’m not going anywhere, okay?

Time passed slowly. Jens continued to rock him back and forth, holding him tightly. Lucas could feel himself getting heavier, he felt the fog in his head clear ever so slowly. His head started to throb gently, his breathing evened out. He wrapped an arm around Jens and pulled him closer. Jens kissed the top of his head, his nose, his cheek, his shoulder. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jens asked quietly. Lucas sighed. 

“Mama was admitted again today. They said she cut her arms.”

Jens sighed and squeezed him tighter. 

“My dad showed up and they said she was screaming and crying and she broke the china in the cabinet by the living room and she cut herself.” Lucas mumbled into Jens’s shirt. “The neighbors called her an ambulance and they’re keeping her there for I don’t know how long.”

“Luc,” Jens sighed. Lucas pulled away from him and moved to a different spot on the edge of the bed. 

“I should’ve picked up on warning signs when I stayed over the weekend.” Lucas exclaimed. “I can tell when she’s going into an episode, I should’ve known or stayed or or -”

“Baby, it isn’t your fault.”

“I know, I just should’ve helped or-or stayed longer or took her to the hospital myself”

Lucas felt his eyes welling up again. He reached for Jens hand and squeezed tightly. 

“Lucas,” Jens began, rubbing circles on the back of his hand. “You didn’t do anything wrong, sometimes an episode happens and you can’t pick up on the warning signs. I know that happens to Robbe with Sander, and I know that’s happened with your mom before. And the important thing is that she’s safe, and she’s surrounded by people who know what they’re doing and she’s going to be okay, maybe just shaken up.”

Lucas nodded and looked at Jens. 

“Right now there’s nothing you can do except to take a deep breath and calm down. We can go and visit her tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

Jens smiled. “And right now, I’m gonna go cook us dinner and you’re gonna have a shower and put on my sweats. And then we can cuddle one the couch, maybe rent a movie? How does that sound?”

Lucas mouthed ‘good.’ Jens stood up from the bed and helped Lucas up. He pulled the smaller boy into his arms and closed his eyes, breathing in and smelling the faint scent of shampoo on his curls. He pulled away and pressed their lips together once, twice before leading Lucas to the bathroom and turning the nozzle. 

He pressed one more kiss to Lucas’s lips. “I’m gonna leave my red sweater and some joggers on the bed for you and I’ll start dinner.”

“I love you.” Lucas says quietly. 

“I love you too, so much.”

+1. 

Lucas had planned this out in his head for weeks.

He loved Jens, so fucking much that it hurts. They had been together for almost 8 years and he didn't see the relationship stopping anytime soon, or ever, as a matter of fact. He was going to ask Jens to marry him. 

He knew that he and his boyfriend were more lowkey and relaxed, compared to Robbe and Sander, but he wanted this to be special. He wanted to make it special for Jens because he deserved his proposal to be romantic and he deserved to be surprised and he deserved to feel every ounce of the love Lucas had to give him. Every single bit of it.

And it was totally, not really, all Jens's fault that Lucas couldn't do that. Because here they were, in their living room, folding laundry and Lucas can feel the plan slipping from his mind. They're side by side on the couch, Lucas can feel Jens's arms against his and they're folding laundry while the tv plays softly in the background. Jens shifts on the couch and Lucas turns to smile at him before his lips are captured in a tender kiss, the ghost of his lover's touch on his cheek.

"I'm gonna get some water."

And just like that, Lucas throws his plan out the window. He didn't know what it was. Maybe it was the domesticity of folding laundry by Jens's side on a Thursday afternoon, maybe it was the soft kiss placed against his lips that made a warm fuzz rush through his body, maybe it was the atmosphere of a lazy afternoon in their apartment but Lucas just knew. He wanted to do this forever; he wanted to have more lazy afternoons, he wanted to be with Jens for the rest of his life, he wanted them. He wanted a life with Jens, he did. He felt a rush, he stood up from the couch and watched Jens grab a glass from the cupboard and get water from the dispenser in their fridge. 

"Luc, baby, do you want anything?" Jens asked over his shoulder.

Lucas's heart melts. He can't wait. Fuck the romantic gesture.

"Marry me." Lucas blurts out. He sees Jens freeze in the light of the fridge. Lucas gulps - he should've waited, Jens slowly turned to face him with wide eyes.

"What?" Jens whispers, the corners of his mouth turning up into a small smile.

"I said," Lucas sighs. "I said 'marry me' - well technically I asked it, but it doesn't matter." He shakes his head and Jens closes the fridge. The smile on Jens's lips began to bloom as he looked at Lucas perched on the couch. "I meant to say will you marry me, sorry I meant to ask, and I had this big romantic gesture planned because you deserve that. You deserve a stupid corny proposal because I love you-I," Lucas pauses. "I know we aren't as cheesy as the others but I wanted to give you a cheesy thing but then we were doodling laundry and you always ask if I need anything when you get up and it just slipp-"

Jens lets out a watery laugh, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He brushes them away and leans against the counter. Lucas stops his ramble and looks at Jens in the eyes, seeing everything he could want. 

"Marry me," Lucas exclaims. "Please? I want to spend the rest of my fucking life with y-"

"Yes."

"Wh-what."

"I said yes."

"You're gonna marry me?"

"Of course I'll marry you, you fucking idiot."

Lucas let's out a loud gasp and leaps over the back of the couch and runs to Jens leaning in the kitchen. He jumps into his boyfriend's, fiance's, arms and wraps his legs around his waist. Jens grips Lucas as close to him as he can. Lucas cups Jens face in his hands. They both have tears in their eyes, Jens kisses Lucas's nose, and Lucas crashes their lips together. 

It's messy and passionate and salty from the tears tracking down their face but they pour every ounce of love, passion, and happiness into the kiss. Lucas gasps against their lips and leans to press his forehead against Jens's.

"I love you so fucking much," Lucas says quietly. "I love you."

Jens sniffs and buries his head into Lucas's shoulder and pulls his waist closer. He lets out a wet laugh and presses kisses to his fiance's hair. He brings his hands to Lucas's face and pulls his face to face him. Jens runs his nose alongside Lucas's.

"I love you too."

THE END


End file.
